As an image consultant, I have the privilege of working with both men and women from different professional backgrounds. Over the years, I’ve noticed something fascinating: while everyone wants to feel confident in what they wear, the way they approach personal style can be remarkably different.
Many of my male clients look for clarity, efficiency and reassurance. Many of my female clients approach the same process with curiosity, self-reflection and a desire to express their individuality.
Of course, these are observations rather than rules. Every individual is different. Yet these recurring patterns have made me reflect on something much bigger than clothing: the relationship between belonging, authenticity and leadership.
This connection became particularly clear during a Ladies Circle event where we explored authentic leadership from different perspectives. Students, founders, managers and boardroom professionals shared their experiences. One discussion that stayed with me was how men and women can bring different strengths to leadership, and how much we can learn from one another.
Promoting more women into leadership was never meant to diminish men. Many of us have thrived thanks to male mentors who believed in us. Diversity is not about replacing one presence with another, but recognising the strengths in our differences and how complementary they can be.
And interestingly, I see a similar dynamic in the way people approach their personal style.
How Men Approach Style: Clarity, Efficiency and Belonging
Many of my male clients value simplicity.
They want clarity, minimal decisions and clothes that simply work. They are often less interested in exploring the deeper meaning behind their clothing choices. Instead, they want a practical wardrobe that helps them feel confident and appropriate in their professional environment.
One pattern I frequently observe is the importance of belonging.
Belonging to their team.
Belonging to the company culture.
Belonging to the professional world they identify with.
This is reflected in their wardrobes. Many men maintain a consistent style for years: a familiar shirt in several colours, jeans replaced with exactly the same pair, or a jacket repurchased from the same brand.
You’ve probably noticed groups of men in an office wearing almost identical shoes.
There is a certain comfort in familiarity. Consistency feels reassuring, safe and appropriate.
Yet another interesting pattern emerges during consultations.
Although many of these clients are reluctant to experiment independently, they can be surprisingly open to change when they receive professional guidance.
If I recommend a different cut, a more flattering colour palette or even a bolder choice, they are often willing to try it. Once they understand why something works, they tend to embrace it with confidence and consistency.
They are not necessarily looking to stand out. They want the reassurance that they can look their best while still feeling comfortable in their environment.
For these clients, style is less about exploration and more about clarity, trust and confidence.
How Women Approach Style: Self-Discovery, Expression and Individuality
With many of my female clients, the journey unfolds quite differently.
A personal style consultation often becomes a process of self-discovery.
They want to understand why certain colours make them look more vibrant or feel more powerful.
Why some trousers never seem to fit.
Why one outfit makes them feel invisible while another brings out their confidence.
Why a particular neckline, fabric or silhouette changes how they see themselves.
These are rarely just questions about clothing. They are often questions about identity.
During consultations, I sometimes witness a woman rediscover parts of herself she hasn’t seen in years.
She tries on a new colour, perhaps initially with hesitation, and suddenly recognises a version of herself that feels vibrant, interesting and expressive.
The question shifts from “What should I wear?” to “Why didn’t I know this before?”
And eventually, “How can I express myself more authentically?”
One recurring pattern I notice is the desire for individuality.
Many women want to feel distinctive. They want their clothing to reflect their personality, rather than simply fit into an expected standard.
They often gather inspiration from many different sources: a colleague, a sales assistant, a public figure, their mother or a friend.
A single compliment can strengthen their confidence, while one negative comment can sometimes make them question an outfit they previously loved.
This openness to inspiration can be a wonderful strength, but it can also create confusion.
With so many influences and possibilities, personal style can become a collection of disconnected ideas rather than a clear expression of identity.
This is why understanding yourself is so important.
When women begin to recognise what genuinely suits them — not only physically, but also in terms of personality, lifestyle and aspirations — their choices become more intentional.
They no longer need to follow every trend or seek constant reassurance.
Their personal style becomes a reflection of who they are, rather than who they think they should be.
The Balance Between Belonging and Authenticity
What fascinates me most is that these different approaches to personal style reflect a much broader challenge we face in professional life.
We all want to belong.
We want to be accepted, respected and recognised as credible within our professional environments.
At the same time, we want to be ourselves.
We want our individuality, values and strengths to be seen and appreciated.
These two desires are not opposites. In fact, they need each other.
Too much conformity can make us invisible. We may look appropriate, but fail to communicate what makes us distinctive.
Too much individuality without awareness of context can create a different challenge. We may express ourselves freely, but unintentionally send a message that does not align with our professional intentions.
The most effective professional image lies somewhere between the two.
It communicates:
I understand the environment I am in.
I know who I am.
And I am confident enough to bring both together.
This balance is particularly relevant to leadership.
What Personal Style Can Teach Us About Leadership
Authentic leadership requires more than competence and expertise.
It also requires self-awareness, the ability to connect with others and the confidence to communicate who we are.
The patterns I observe in personal style offer an interesting perspective on these qualities.
The preference for clarity, consistency and structure reminds us of the importance of reliability. People need to know what to expect from a leader. Consistency builds trust.
The desire for exploration, individuality and self-expression reminds us of the importance of authenticity. People also need leaders who are willing to reflect, evolve and bring their own perspectives into the room.
Of course, these are not exclusively masculine or feminine qualities. We all possess them in different combinations.
And perhaps that is exactly the point.
Strong leadership is not about choosing between belonging and individuality, or between consistency and expression. It is about knowing when and how to embrace both.
A leader who values structure can benefit from becoming more open to exploration.
A leader who values individuality can benefit from greater clarity and consistency.
When we recognise the strengths in different approaches, we create more opportunities to learn from one another.
This is also why diversity in leadership matters.
Not because one group is better equipped to lead than another, but because different experiences, perspectives and ways of thinking can enrich the decisions we make together.
Building a Professional Image That Reflects Who You Are
The same principle applies to the way we present ourselves.
Our clothing communicates long before we begin to speak. It influences first impressions, shapes expectations and can affect how confidently we carry ourselves.
But developing a strong professional image is not simply about dressing more formally, following fashion trends or looking like someone we admire.
It begins with understanding ourselves.
What do I want to communicate?
How do I want others to experience me?
What does my professional environment expect?
And how can I meet those expectations without losing my individuality?
These are the questions at the heart of my work as an image consultant.
I help professionals bring together their personality, professional goals and visual communication, so that their appearance supports the message they want to convey.
Because ultimately, the most powerful professional image is neither about fitting in completely nor standing out at all costs.
It is about finding the confidence to be recognisably yourself while connecting meaningfully with the world around you.
Your image should not define you. It should help others recognise the person and professional you already are.
About the Author
Lu Cai is an AICI Certified Image Consultant (CIC) and founder of Shine Brighter | LU Image Consulting, based in the Netherlands.
She works with individuals and corporate clients to strengthen their professional image, personal style and executive presence. Through personal consultations, workshops and corporate training, she helps professionals communicate with greater confidence, authenticity and intention.
Discover more at www.lu-ic.com.
Originally written for Circulo Magazine, November 2025. Adapted and updated for Shine Brighter | LU Image Consulting.